On today’s episode of “Trying to Stay Sane in the Middle of a Civil Rights Movement Happening in the Eye of Wokeness During a Global Pandemic”, I awoke to the #GOYAAWAY twitter movement to boycott all Goya products for their CEO’s praise of your current President. The hottest line from the mixtape he dropped on the White House Lawn seemed to be these words:

“We’re all truly blessed at the same time to have a leader like President Trump, who is a builder.”

Ok this just isn’t reality. To his defense, he is part of the White House Hispanic Prosperity Initiative which works to improve economic and educational outcomes for Hispanics. I am sure he has done something more substantial in the name of good that far outweighs this incident of poor political choices. I mean, we all know how to pander a bit to get things done….. but “a builder!?” Yea if you like walls, hate and division.

We should also know by now that most CEOs of any company probably have their financial interests firmly aligned with someone like your President. No surprises there. Praising an administration that enacts policies which effect your main consumer base the most, however, is just bad for business.

This one is going to hurt me too however.

Let me explain…

I never ate black beans growing up.

Like many things in my life, I vaguely remember having a bad experience with them and vowed never to eat them again. Yes, I stereotyped Black beans. We all have work to do…

Then I married my wife of Afro-Latina heritage.

My wife got me in touch with one of the deepest revelations of my current world view that sustains me whenever I travel the world.

That I will eat anything if you cook it right…especially if any form of pork is involved.

Look, her recipe took a man who had taken a solemn oath to order everything sans black beans for the rest of his whole entire life and destroyed his sense of will with one can of GOYA beans…

Now here we are.

This is what it is like to live in this country every day as a person of color.

Almost every second of existence in this country has the potential of cloaking some awful ulterior motive intertwined with troubled history in a beautiful personal relationship close to your heart.

Can I just enjoy my GOYA beans in peace?!?!?!

I live a simple life. The pantry in my kitchen probably never runs out of two things; UTZ potato chips and Goya Black Beans. But we have arrived at the crossroads of political wokeness, morality, the Black and Hispanic dollar, and feeding myself.

Yes, I know there are plenty of other brands and ways to enjoy black beans.

Yes, I know it is just black beans in an aluminum can.

You are missing the point. It’s not the bean. It’s all of the memories and imagery I have stored in my brain from grabbing that can every single time I pass it in the aisle. Or when they switched to the ring on the top so I don’t have to get the can opener out to open them. That soulful blue color with Frijoles Negros printed on it.

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It’s an entire vibe, bruh.

Now I have to eliminate that from my life because of someone else being out of pocket. I have to make unwanted adjustments to my life because of the consequences of another person’s incompetent quest for fame, profit and power. Welp. Sounds like another Tuesday in America to me.

Problem is it’s never easy.

I figure now I should do my research on my next black bean provider to the Funn household before I make my purchase. I want the blackest most wokest company I can think of to send my melanated dollars…


Yes. “Glawry” greens got me through college. An acutely applied headlock between laziness and poverty afforded me the opportunity to eat Glory pre-seasoned collard greens out of the can on many of nights. You can’t even find any of their products without seasoning already on them. Now that’s an entire vibe. I’m not going to get any blacker than this.

Or so I thought.

After visiting the site I learned the history of a company started by a Black man in the 80’s whose son is currently the Director of Sales. See a family tradition. And the can. That sweet blend of purple and orange hues that gives me church fan feels.

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It’s an entire vibe, bruh.

Wait a minute…

Director of sales?

If he is the son of the founder why isn’t he CEO or still the actual owner? I hopped on my high speed sofa and traveled to the Googles where I learned that Glory Foods is now owned by McCall Farms and was moved to South Carolina in 2010. Ok let me see what is the deal with McCall Farms. They don’t sound black to me…

They aren’t.

There isn’t a lot of information on the owners of McCall Farms, but I found this on the company timeline on their website:



James McCall, great-grandfather to current owners Henry and Marion Swink, establishes a 2,000-acre farm in Effingham, SC. The primary crop grown is cotton.

A cotton farm established in 1838 in Effingham, South Carolina could be a lot of things. One of those things is not free or safe for anyone that looked like me.

Here I am. An hour of my life gone trying to simply find a way to feed myself without contradicting everything I believe in. My dollars, draped in slave owner portraits, in some way or another will always seem to find its way to the hands of those that are either benefiting or profiting off of some form of oppression or immorality towards people of color. It is terrifying to think of what else in my life that could cease to exist, if it weren’t on the backs of other’s pain.

Have I reached the elite self-reflection guilt paralysis level of extreme wokeness that I always hear about?

I am not sure, but for the record I will never research the founders, CEO, or political contributions of anyone associated with the UTZ potato chip company. Judge me if you want. My sanity is my protest.

We all have work to do…